By now you should have taken steps to better understand yourself and behaviors or know what needs to happen for you to do so. The next step in improving communications with others is to understand them. Though this is not a simple challenge, it is one that requires a lot of time and practice, you can get a great start with the following exercise:
 
Before your next meeting or engagement. Think of the individual with whom you will be interacting and ask yourself a few questions.
 
Do they…
come across direct and succinct?
move rapidly?
use direct eye contact and/or point their finger?
lean forward while talking?
 
If you answer 'yes' to these first four questions, you are most likely dealing with a Dominant individual whose key motivators are challenge, power and authority, direct answers, and opportunities for individual accomplishment.
 
Do they…
act social and outgoing?
use large gestures?
smile frequently?
tell stories or jokes and appear to attempt to 'lighten the mood'?
 
Chances are, if you've answered 'yes' to the above, you've got an Influencer on your hands. Influencers are motivated by social recognition, group activities, relationships, freedom of expression and movement
 
Do they…
like standardized format and process?
Speak softly?
Use small hand gestures?
Appear relaxed and with a soft smile?
 
With a 'yes' to these four questions, you may be working with a Steady individual whose motivations are Infrequent change, stable and predictable environment, & sincere appreciation.
 
Do they…
Maintain a quiet focused?
Discuss details and analytics?
Use little, if any, hand-gestures?
Use little, if any, inflection in their tone or volume of voice?
 
Answering 'yes' to these probably indicates you're working with a Compliant person. Motivators for them are clearly defined performance expectations, value of quality and accuracy, a private work area, and a reserved atmosphere.
 
As you start thinking through the above, it's important to remember that virtually all individuals have complex behavioral styles (ie. More than one of those listed above) so it can be challenging, at times, to pinpoint. There are many other indicators and queues to help you determine styles through utilizing a formalized DISC program. In the meantime, if you're struggling to clearly identify their behaviors, try for their position and motivation in the scenario by asking yourself some additional questions such as:  
What is their position in the situation?
What are they trying to achieve?
How have they achieved successful results in the past?
Do they drive results or execute on the tasks to achieve them?
 
In our next article, we'll dive into how you can begin to adapt your natural style to fit other styles. Stay tuned for 'Adapt Your Style.'
 
If you want to learn more on understanding your behavior and the behavior of other, connect with me!